Monday, June 28, 2004
*我的人生不是我要的*
ppl maybe wonderin9 why did i write bout stories of ma frenz & nv fer maself?..
wad are the reasons fer writin9 the stories of ma frenz & not fer maself..
maybe i have a borin9 & toopid life..
or maybe...maybe..i am afraid... ..
...afraid to face the mistakes tat i had once made..and feelin9 re9retful bout it..?
...afraid to face the consequences when i wrote bout ma life..?
...& afraid to hurt someone out there..unknowin9ly ba..?
probably it is becuz..i do not wan to tok bout ma life frm ma own point-of-view..jus like ma others stories..i wrote frm ma point-of-view..i am definitely not the one involved..
onli in this way..u can see the different sides of everythin9..
writin9 ma own stories will tend to be untrue ba..cuz..i will definitely be sidin9 maself..or maybe i won't?..(hope so lorx..)
the thin9s i wrote in the blog all mostly ma reflection of certain thin9y..
unless it's in the present..or i will mostly won't write bout it ba..
probably..cuz..i want to..
for9et ma past..& move on..?
in ma past, i have hurt ppl who treasure mi..alot..not writin9 ma past may help mi for9et the past & won't blame maself ba..
is this called *runnin9 frm ma mistake*..? & bein9 selfish for ma own's sake..?
budden thinkin9 too much of ma past will onli make mi hurt more ppl..unknowin9ly ba..
* the person who is the most difficult to understand is oneself ba..*
* 最不简单明白的人就是自己..*
i nv 9et to understand maself..i don noi wad kind of 9al i am..and frankly..i don wanna noi..
wad if i 9ot to understand maself le..& i don like maself..by then..ma life will be in a mess then..becuz i actualli hate maself..
*maself* will be definitely the last person who i wanna hate ba..
well ma life is...
fer mi to noi & fer you to find out ba..
P.S...maybe next time ba..then i will summarise ma life... ...
*我的人生不是我要的*